Why I Ditched the Baby Crib

It may sound crazy, but one of my biggest regrets I made when deciding what to buy for my newborn was purchasing a crib.  I actually didn’t intend to purchase a crib at all at first.   My idea was that I would just purchase a pack n play and set it up next to my bed to save money on baby furniture.  When I told my family this, they insisted on purchasing me a crib as a baby shower gift.  I couldn’t turn down a gift from my family so I graciously accepted their gift and helped my husband build it and set it up next to our bed.

A crib seemed like such an essential item to have for a baby that I never considered that it might end up in my storage locker a few months after my son was born. I researched hundreds of cribs and read horror stories about how the wrong crib mattress could spontaneously combust or suffocate my baby with trapped gasses. Ok those are exaggerations, but my anxiety was only enhanced through research on safe sleep studies.  Some of the things you read online about cribs will keep you up at night.

I obsessed over purchasing bedding and spent a lot of money on not one, but TWO different mobiles to attach to my baby’s crib.  My baby was ultimately unimpressed by my fancy projector style mobile that played several different sounds to soothe him to sleep.  It even had a remote to  turn it on from my bed without having to get up.  All my efforts to create a desirable sleeping environment for my baby were useless in the end.

I felt like I was handling a little time bomb every time I tried to lull my son to sleep and place him in his crib, he would immediately wake up.  He would only sleep well if he was on someone’s chest or being cradled in a baby carrier.  In the rare chance that I finally got him to lay in his crib, I would wake up in the middle of the night worrying whether he was breathing, if I had fallen asleep with him in the bed with me, if he was too cold or hot, if he was getting indigestion as a result of sleeping horizontally.

Baby Drew sleeping on his Nana’s chest (my mother-in-law)

My son slept next to my bed in his crib for maybe a month before I found a better sleep solution.  After my c-section, I found myself on the couch so as to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of walking upstairs with stitches.  It was during a visit to my in-laws that my mother-in-law gave us a giftcard and told us to get something for baby.  I had wanted a rock n play sleeper before my son arrived but had little luck finding one at the consignment store.  I did my research and found one within our giftcard price range on Amazon.  It was a Newborn Rock n Play Sleeper that had a detachable teething toy and vibration feature that we always forgot to turn off and burned out the batteries.

I don’t think I would have survived without my Newborn Rock n Play Sleeper those first few months.  As you can see, we used it all the time until he started to sit up on his own.  I think he liked his Rock n Play Sleeper because it kept him enclosed and gave him a sense of security that he got when we held him close.  I tried swaddling to create the same effect but he would always break free and I worried I was swaddling too tight.  I just propped his Rock N Play Sleeper next to my bed and it kept him at an slight upright position to help with digestion.

As a sleep deprived mother, it was nice to have something right next to my bed that I could rock him to sleep in without having to transfer him to his crib and risk waking him up again.  I felt at ease having him in arms reach and always recommend Rock N Play sleepers to my pregnant friends as a must have.

After about three months, we transitioned from co-sleeping into bed-sharing. I guess the Rock N Play was a gateway to bed-sharing  but that’s a whole other story I will explain later 😉

Drew with sleeping on the bed next to me with the crib in the background.

The Adventures of Motherhood Begin

I was admitted to the hospital on Sunday night with pancreatits, gave birth to my son by c-section after about 8 hours of induced labor on a Tuesday evening, and finally left the hospital in the afternoon of Friday that week.  After a long, anxiety ridden week of anguish and excitement, my husband and I were finally going home with our new bundle of joy en tow.  We had attended several parenting classes: Childcare basics, Labor and Delivery, Infant CPR, and Breastfeeding.  We felt at ease that, having taken every class the hospital had to offer, we were prepared to be parents.  So it comes as no surprise, like most new parents, we were terrified and worried about every little thing possible when we brought our son home.  Ok, maybe me more so than my husband.  At least he was pretty good at pretending to know what he was doing.

When you find our you’re pregnant and announce it to the world, people are always quick to give their advice on parenthood.  The truth is, everyone’s journey is different and comes with different challenges and obstacles.  People always joke, “Sleep now, you wont be able to when you have that baby!”  Which is a bit of a joke when you’re pregnant and have to pee every hour of the night.  As an avid lover of sleep, I was overly obsessed with the amount of sleep I would get when we brought my son home from the hospital.  After waking up every few hours to breastfeed my son for a month or so, I was sleep deprived and stressed out.  I worried I would never get another 8 hours straight of sleep again for the next 18 years.  I regret to say I even considered giving up on breastfeeding a few times just so my husband could bottle feed and trade me places at night.  I’m so glad I didn’t because I eventually learned to love late night breastfeeding and bonding with my son in those early months but that’s a whole story in itself that I will discuss at a later time.

So a little unsolicited advice to new parents, hang in there.  It will get better, you will sleep again.  Maybe not at first, maybe not even the first year.  I know, terrifying right? If you are fortunate enough to have a partner in your journey of parenthood, work together as a team and don’t fight over who gets more sleep.  I can’t tell you how many arguments over sleep my husband and I had those first few months (and some still to this day 18 months later) but when we work as a team, we function so much better.  As in all relationships, nothing is going to be 50/50 but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try every day to make your partner’s life easier so you can both be the best parents possible for your child.  Those of you going it alone, don’t be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends.  It doesn’t mean you have failed as a parent if you have to ask your mom to watch the baby while you take a nap.  If your mother-in-law is like mine, she will gladly snuggle your baby for you while you snooze.  The old cliche that it takes a village to raise a child is so very true.

Above all, trust your instincts.  What works for your sister-in-law might not work for you, and that’s ok.  Especially when it comes to baby sleep habits.  But I promise to divulge on that issue later!  Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and own your parenting style.  Be open minded but cautious.  I can’t tell you how many hours of research I’ve performed on parenting tips but that’s what’s so great about being a parent in the 21st century.  You can research anything these days and decide for yourself what is right for you and your baby.  Knowledge is your best friend but never underestimate your natural instincts as a parent.