I was admitted to the hospital on Sunday night with pancreatits, gave birth to my son by c-section after about 8 hours of induced labor on a Tuesday evening, and finally left the hospital in the afternoon of Friday that week. After a long, anxiety ridden week of anguish and excitement, my husband and I were finally going home with our new bundle of joy en tow. We had attended several parenting classes: Childcare basics, Labor and Delivery, Infant CPR, and Breastfeeding. We felt at ease that, having taken every class the hospital had to offer, we were prepared to be parents. So it comes as no surprise, like most new parents, we were terrified and worried about every little thing possible when we brought our son home. Ok, maybe me more so than my husband. At least he was pretty good at pretending to know what he was doing.
When you find our you’re pregnant and announce it to the world, people are always quick to give their advice on parenthood. The truth is, everyone’s journey is different and comes with different challenges and obstacles. People always joke, “Sleep now, you wont be able to when you have that baby!” Which is a bit of a joke when you’re pregnant and have to pee every hour of the night. As an avid lover of sleep, I was overly obsessed with the amount of sleep I would get when we brought my son home from the hospital. After waking up every few hours to breastfeed my son for a month or so, I was sleep deprived and stressed out. I worried I would never get another 8 hours straight of sleep again for the next 18 years. I regret to say I even considered giving up on breastfeeding a few times just so my husband could bottle feed and trade me places at night. I’m so glad I didn’t because I eventually learned to love late night breastfeeding and bonding with my son in those early months but that’s a whole story in itself that I will discuss at a later time.
So a little unsolicited advice to new parents, hang in there. It will get better, you will sleep again. Maybe not at first, maybe not even the first year. I know, terrifying right? If you are fortunate enough to have a partner in your journey of parenthood, work together as a team and don’t fight over who gets more sleep. I can’t tell you how many arguments over sleep my husband and I had those first few months (and some still to this day 18 months later) but when we work as a team, we function so much better. As in all relationships, nothing is going to be 50/50 but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try every day to make your partner’s life easier so you can both be the best parents possible for your child. Those of you going it alone, don’t be afraid to ask for help from your family and friends. It doesn’t mean you have failed as a parent if you have to ask your mom to watch the baby while you take a nap. If your mother-in-law is like mine, she will gladly snuggle your baby for you while you snooze. The old cliche that it takes a village to raise a child is so very true.
Above all, trust your instincts. What works for your sister-in-law might not work for you, and that’s ok. Especially when it comes to baby sleep habits. But I promise to divulge on that issue later! Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and own your parenting style. Be open minded but cautious. I can’t tell you how many hours of research I’ve performed on parenting tips but that’s what’s so great about being a parent in the 21st century. You can research anything these days and decide for yourself what is right for you and your baby. Knowledge is your best friend but never underestimate your natural instincts as a parent.
Unexpectedly Awesome 